Thursday, February 19, 2009

__|__ Happy Effentine Day __|__ !!!

Before beginning the post, lemme write the disclaimer... =)

1. This post contains highly offensive material. Apologies for those who repent reading this article.

2. This post may be fictitious today, but in the near future, there are all possibilities of this getting true, thanks for the possible support from the followers/supporters/silent adherers of Valentine Day, some might have already been celebrating it.

3. Those two emoticons around the title represent the middle finger and one needs to decorate both of his/her hands while wishing on this day! Its something like \m/ for rock out!

4. The writer is not lunatic.

This post was supposed to be posted on the so called 'Valentine's Day', thanks for the problem with my PC and BSNL internet connection, Its getting posted today though it was drafted already in my mind on that day.

Yes! You read it right. Its Effentine. This word was coined in my mind on February 14th, 2009 according to the English Calendar, I thought someone would have coined the same and searched the same on google. Click on that link for results. Hardly a page that contains links to some geneology stuff, some porno links etcetera. Hopefully this post would enter the list after being posted (also, some which link/comment/protest to this post)

So, I wont claim that I coined this word but am using it for my purpose here. Offenders are neglected. In case, one needs to change, please suggest another name.

Okay! enough of disclaimer notes, why was this coined?

A few days ago, you might have seen my post on Sri Rama Sene(SRS) and its attack on pubs. Check out the post as well as the comments here. Soon after the incident, wide response awaited nationwide and supporters for the pub goers were a lot.

They thought that SRS need to be taught a lesson on Valentines' day and hence, they got together, planned to send pink under-garments to SRS from across the nation. Hehehe! Even SRS guys are intelligent. They gave a stunning reply by auctioning them starting with a meagre 25 paise and send the amount to the sender...

After writing that post, I got to know that SRS did that intentionally to get media attention and media sued it in a wrong way. I oppose SRS for doing that. It would have been better to do it without notice.

Come Feb 14th, 2009, I wake up seeing a message on my mobile which says 18,000 police(Only in Karnataka) have been alloted for a safe V-Day. CRAP! Crap news to get up with.

I open the newspaper(Deccan Herald), I see the supporters of V-Day, chilling out with beer mugs holding together, saying "Cheese" with a anti-non-valentine slogan board in the middle. Another crap news to start the day with.

Do they need a day to love? express their love? Dedicate a day for a person who allowed people to express their love openly? Then let it be in those countries where you cannot express your love freely, not in India where you are free to express any of your thoughts, not only love in an open fashion.

Then a thought struck my mind, if there are so many people who claim the right to valentine, one day will come when people fight for the right to Effentine. Note the 'F' in the word. I could have used the F word instead of Effentine, but I'm not for that. I dont want to be cheap in writing a blog using words that I wish wouldnt appear in my blog. I dont like it.

That day would surely come if the rate in which V-Day is getting celebrated in India doesn't come down.

Now don't ask me why I oppose V-Day, guess I've already written a post on that a couple of years ago. Check it out.

Coming to Effentine, who would be St. Effentine? Who else? someone like Umesh Reddy. (This was the immediate thought I got thinking of St. Effentine). Who else can decorate the position other than a person who has 23 rapes, many misbehaviours etc to his credit and so popular? If you dont like it, you can replace him with any international rapist. I dont wanna google it. DIY!

What would be the date they celebrate? May be the B'day of Umesh Reddy (Or the international rapists') or a better date would be their death anniversary. Umesh Reddy has got his death certificate now(when I write this, I see a news that Umesh Reddy is sentenced to death). That would be more relevant. I tried to google the date they would hang Mr. UR, Dint get it. Do tell us if you know.

Who would benefit with St. Effentine's Day? Obviously the Effers who celebrate it. Apart from them, who would?

1. The media, again giving the most needed publicity, hype to it.
2. Gift Centres like Archies who would come up with cards like "To my beEffed friend, I Eff you!" blah! blah! blah!
3. Telco operators, all of them, who would send you messages saying "Impress your EFFriend by having these cool ringtones, send them. Here are the samples. Some would be the dirty version of Akon's "I wanna Love you" to some regional hits like "I _______(DASH) You" from Upendra's Hollywood. who knows??
4. Politicians, who would support Effentine Day, raise it as an issue if a riot happens on its cause from guys like SRS. Also would provide huge security for a safe and sexy(?) Effentine.

List out if I've left out any. Post in your extended thoughts on Effentine's Day.

Once again, advanced wishes of St. Effentine's Day! __|__


i 7 said...

sisyaaa V-day na baiodiddre baiyko aadre dovvu hodyorna maatra baiybedaaa! Manassige tumba kasta aagutte!!

Nann maganey, maduve aadmele neenu Effer aagteeeyaa! Adikke wishing u tooo a very very happy Effentine's Day in advanceu :P

Sandesh said...

Lo! bejaan future planning maadtha iddiya! Ide aaythu nindu!